do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Shame - the story of my life.
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