I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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