you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Randomize
