I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
