I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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