3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
