Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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