Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Duck Duck Cougar?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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