My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
