hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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