you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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