Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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