Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
