He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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