I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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