just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
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We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
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The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
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