that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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