Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
