She is in my trunk
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
