don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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