just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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