he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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