Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
