I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
