Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm eating all of the evidence.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Damn victory sex feels great
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
