no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
