How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
