you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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