Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize