The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
