So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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