While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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