ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
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I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
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my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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