An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
