I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
