Can i not drive my cunt home
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
