That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
