I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
