my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
