in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Best friends brother. Beat that.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
