I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
it was like his penis was on wheels.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize