Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
