Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
