Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..

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(718): View more from New York

we need to drink 2009 down the drain

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(315): View more from New York

Hello wreck, this is your train calling.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

You just said the magic words

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(914): View more from New York

I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.

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(314): View more from Missouri

Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?

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(203): View more from Connecticut

a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.

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(209): View more from California

I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.

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(904): View more from Florida

For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring

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