i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
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im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
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My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.