It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
