A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He felt like a one man threesome
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
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And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
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Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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