I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
