If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
