She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
