the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
