It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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