I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I love you.
Bad choice
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