Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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