I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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