i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
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once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
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Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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