wanna go halves on a baby?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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