I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
