I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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