I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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