3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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