saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
