wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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