I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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