Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
